Pain in the Name

The other day, while all my children were running a muck and I was folding the laundry decorating our couch...yes the entire couch.  My three-year-old son and my daughter were having a scuffle--an almost everyday affair.  Whatever ensued; and honestly I can't remember--this being a wonderful blessing of motherhood that I can't remember every fault our children do--I started to do the full-name-shout-out including the middle name.  You know it's serious business when the middle name comes out, but then I remembered my husband's grandfather and his recent passing. Our fourth-born son bears his name as a middle name.  My husband was home in the house and I wondered if yelling it wounded him.

Some of my children have special middle names and we named them such because these people were wonderful and loved.  But when I come in like a maniac yelling out full names to get my point across does it cause pain?  I think for now it does. I know my husband said the first time he heard me say his grandfather's name was a month after his Papa had passed away.  Still a very sensitive time.  I told him that after I said it I wondered if we should ever say it because, well, I'm yelling at the kid when I use it.

I don't think it's a bad thing and I think it actually may be a type of honor.  Long ago, before Papa was a grandfather before he was married before he took a boat from Italy and voyaged to America; Papa, was a young boy.  Young boys get into trouble.  They wet their pants when you told them to use the potty, they play in the dirt with your serving spoons or climb for cookies that are unreachable. Young boys also fight with their sisters and won't share, and all of these things make moms mad--they make moms yell.  So naming my fourth born son after a wonderful man, who was once a wily, troublesome boy just like my sons are, was never a thing that should be hidden.  Sometime in the family history another mom had done that same thing and shaped that boy into the wonderful man that he was, a man to be honored. 

For now, my son's middle name is used for what seems like a negative thing, but someday that middle name will just appear on certain forms or when inquiring minds want to know.  It won't be pronounced often or said and I most certainly will not have the need to use all three names as time goes on.  But, however quiet the whisper or loud the yell the name is still being said and that means Papa is not forgotten.  Maybe Papa is answering like the small boy he once was, maybe he smiles at the antics of my son, maybe he says a prayer for my son and is helping shape him to become a wonderful man.  Thank you, Papa, I can use the help.