Mom's a Grinch

"And he puzzled and puzzled 'till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before. 'What if Christmas,' he thought, 'doesn't come from a store. What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.'”  Dr. Seuss

'Tis the season to be jolly...right!  Jolly, happy, joyful...not so easy this time of year.   There are gifts you can't find or don't want to pay the scalper's price, and there's extra grocery shopping and gift wrapping (starting at midnight) and cookie baking.  And in my life, there is a kitchen that needed a new sink, countertop, paint job, and dishwasher...yeah, we did this in December.  Let's not forget there were also Christmas concerts and pageants and all while looking like crap because I barely have time to think on a normal day.  But it's Christmas! Be jolly...

...and then I said it to a stranger, "I hate Christmas."

I don't really "hate" Christmas and I could tell by her reaction that she obviously didn't, but I said it as I excused my reach in front of her because I was putting back fairly inexpensive kitchen curtains that I didn't like anyways.  I wanted curtains, but I didn't want those curtains; and yet, I needed curtains to pull together our kitchen project (and hide the duct tape on the window because we could not get the pane fixed in time).  It's my reality.  I didn't want to spend more money...I wanted to buy chocolate chips or more ingredients for our Christmas Eve Feast.  

I don't really hate Christmas at all, but I hate what it does to us and yet, I love what it does to us.  We prepare and make it special because it is special.  We put our best foot forward and try to make "cherished memories" throughout the season.  Sending out cards, wrapping presents with care and attending themed events.  I put just as much work into each Christmas as I did preparing for my first baby, but it's done in one month instead of 9.  We prepare our homes with love, and delicious food and smells and we try to find the perfect gifts for everyone.  We even get crazy with the gift giving to find that one gift that seems impossible this season (for some it's a Hatchimal, for us it's an NES Classic Edition).

After a really fabulous concert for our school-age children...I really mean, it was FAB-U-LOUS...my oldest son's grade had the whole crowd clapping to Feliz Navidad...unplanned, impromptu clapping because they were having so much fun!  It was an impressive night....to such a bad day. It wasn't my worst day ever, but it was pretty bad.  It's been many late nights for me and extremely busy days especially with this project weaved into my Advent season.  I start the day tired.  I'm frantically getting the kids ready to go out the door for school and I'm searching for hats and gloves on this especially cold morning and I forgot to make my Kindergartner a lunch.  I had plans to paint the molding that morning and head over to school for her pageant and then I realized the mistake.  I started making the lunch and trying to shovel the food in for the two young ones and get them dressed.  I needed to shower but there was no time.  Whenever you're late I will guarantee everything goes wrong and no one does what you ask.  On time, life's a breeze.  Between wrestling the 18-month-old and dealing with the whines of the 3-year-old I put on one of my husband's t-shirts (NES themed)  and a crappy sweatshirt to layer out the cold and we're off!

I get to school just in time for the Kindergartners to head to lunch and I get back in my car with a sigh of relief.  But now I got everyone bundled and out and I don't have to be back at school for another 2 hours, so I decided to go on the hunt for the NES Classic Edition.  I head over to Gamestop to check on their recent shipment after I got my kids out of the car and of course, there was none to be had.  Now I have to wrestle the plushies from my three-year-old's hand while trying to put the hat back on the 18-month-old.  We leave and head for a "time-killing" store that had some more items I needed for cooking our feast, but the 3-year-old was still whining at me and wanted to go home.  When we were leaving this store I get the grand idea to carry my few groceries to the car with one in tow and the other in my arms.  It didn't go smoothly.  I sounded like a deranged woman yelling at the 3-year-old to grab my finger so we could walk to the car while he is dancing on the road and the 18-month-old is slowly sliding down my body.  I hope I never see a videotape of this...I already know it looks bad.  

Another sigh of relief as we sat in the car with drinks and snacks and everyone seemed happier.  We killed enough time to go back to school for the pageant.  I was excited to see my little girl play an angel but a little disappointed that my husband couldn't make it because of training with work.  I started getting the kids out of the car and this huge truck whips around the corner to park beside me (it was too tight of a squeeze) and it's a parking lot at a school...SLOW DOWN!  He decides not to force me to move from getting my kids out (guess what, I wasn't going to) and starts to park somewhere else.  I'm still perturbed that he was so careless I've got the 18-month-old in my arms, a bag with snacks, my purse, and the 3-year-old holding my hand.  I take two steps away from the car and it happened.  I don't know how.  It just did.

I fell, collapsed, slipped...I still don't know what happened, but I was on the ground.  I fell hard on one knee because Moms have the built-in "protect the young" so I took the blow of the fall and the 18-month-old rolled safely out of my arms.  The 3-year-old was down with me.  My glasses flew off my face and just themed like the rest of the day, the parking lot was full of people heading to the same pageant....awesome....just awesome.  My sweet boy asked me if I was okay...he's so thoughtful...and the 18-month-old tried to get up and started rolling down the incline of the parking lot...don't worry it wasn't far...and slightly comical.  I was in pain and super embarrassed  I could tell my knee was scraped and the lovely salt from the road was giving a warm burning sensation.  I just picked up the pieces hoping that no one saw it.

Inside I sat down and started to take off my coat to realize I was still sporting the oh-so-seasonal NES t-shirt.  Not really the ensemble I envisioned myself wearing for my daughter's pageant, but I was there and could breathe a sigh of relief.  I could see the blood start to peak through my jeans and my hair was a mess.  "Mr. 3" was running around in a circle spewing out robot sounds and I just wanted to sit and enjoy the pageant.  Just as it's beginning, I hear clunky boots and coat swish sounds from behind me, and there stood my two oldest boys.  The Principal (God Bless this woman) had the forethought to get the siblings of the Kindergartners and bring them over to the pageant.   I had all of my munchkins together and they were overjoyed to be there (maybe more overjoyed to be missing a bit of school).  It was a beautiful, joyful moment in my pretty rough day and I gave kisses on cold cheeks and heaved a sigh of contentment.

My day still ended with a bit of extended family drama...and a trip to a store with 5 kids only to do the walk of shame because my account was empty, but in the end, it was that shining moment from a simple good deed that made my whole day worth it.  When I got home and recounted the day to my husband...that moment welled me up with joy.  Perhaps...it was the thoughtfulness of the Principal...perhaps...it was having all my kids being together to share in some Christmas joy...perhaps...perhaps, Christmas is a little bit more...perhaps, my heart grew three sizes that day.