People...Can We Just Be Good?

As I get older, I shed tears far more easily than I ever did.  Usually, it's at a proud mom moment when I'm watching my kids do something or it's at a lyrically beautiful song.  Sometimes it's at the regrets that I look back on.  Then sometimes when I'm hurt I find the tears just leak out slowly, even when I'm angry at an event.  Hot tears slowly streaming down...because nothing else will do.

It was Good Friday and my husband took the day off from work for religious observance.  We try to keep the kids from too many shows or video games that day.  At three o'clock, the hour at which Jesus died on the cross, my house goes as silent as possible for a bit of time.   Frank and I were discussing how to go about the day and he suggested we make a "family trip"  to our local (large) grocery store to pick up our final details for the dishes we were bringing to my in-law's house for Easter Sunday. 

I protested...a lot.  I did not think to take "all" the kids to the grocery store on a busy day was a good idea.  I thought it would turn out badly and it would sour our moods.  He wanted to do it anyways.  
I protested further.  What about the smaller grocery store?  That one is quick to get in and out of (even though we may have to make a second quick trip for some items on the list).  He said, "No because the smaller store will be too crowded"...and it was giving him anxiety just thinking about it.
I protested again.  I don't want this to take all day.  He retorted with "do you have somewhere else to go?" 
I protested one final time about cost.  He always wins this one because he earns the paycheck...but I'm the budget person...."It's an occasion"  he says...that one always gets me.  I love this about him, that he will go all out for the occasions in life.  

The usual for me is to go grocery shopping alone in the evening or brave it with the two little ones during the week.  Less is more when it comes to kids and grocery stores, but it doesn't teach them to act properly so lately I've been practicing bringing all five of them into the stores for quick stops.  Our practice trips have me hoping that our trip that day was going to be a "good" one.  Good is used here as a term to describe little to no anxiety and not perfection....my kids are still kids.

To summarize our trip, it was pretty darn good...my kids were good, we remembered everything on the list and even some other things. We did self-checkout because it's always intriguing to the kids, I grabbed my change from the attendant and we headed to the car to pack up and head home.  All the kids were buckling in at the van and my husband was putting the groceries in the back.  When he picked up my purse to hand it to me, a pesky package of toothpicks was under it.  My husband said, "did you scan this in?"  and I knew I didn't. I had that moment inside where my moral compass was being argued with, but I grabbed the toothpicks and said, "I'll just go back in real quick and pay."  My husband said, "don't make a big deal about it just go through self-scan again."  So I took the empty cart and headed to the cart corral and back to the store. 

I started to look for the ten dollar bill that I received as change.  I looked in my jacket pocket but, it wasn't there.  I kept walking to the end of the parking lot and stopped to look in my purse, but I still didn't find it.   I looked in my pants pocket and then headed back to my husband.  
"Did I hand you a ten dollar bill when I came to the car?"  
He says, "No, but I know who has it"
"Who?"  I thought he was going to say something funny.
"A guy that was walking behind you.  I saw him pick something up from the ground, but I thought he dropped it.  Then he started acting funny as you were putting the cart back.  So, I watched him.  He stepped back between a couple of cars that he didn't come from and watched you.  Then he kept watching you as he walked passed and then stood across the street at the store and stared at you while you were looking in your purse, and then he went into the store.  I didn't put it all together until you had come back to me."  

I was livid.  I felt invaded and very angry at the injustice and lack of honesty.  Even though I dropped the ten dollars, it felt like stealing.  I wanted to find this man and yell at him.  I went into the store looking for a guy in a denim shirt, but I knew I wouldn't find him...so I just paid for the toothpicks and left.  When I got back in my car, a few hot tears were running down my face....and by this time my oldest kids knew what had happened.  We used it as a teaching moment and told our kids what to do if they ever found someone's wallet or saw someone drop money in front of them.  My husband said, "I don't care if it's five dollars or five hundred dollars, it's not yours."  We explained the difference between finding money that doesn't seem to have an owner and what to do when you find a valuable belonging somewhere.  My Jude thought we should "call the police" but I know the bigger moral to learn is that we need to be good whether we think we can get away with something or whether we will be caught.  Establish a moral compass and work on the good, things will always tug at you, like whether the giant supermarket will miss the package of toothpicks, but it's doing the good that will have us "being good".