It Is Worth It

He had a sweet face, bright blue and teal colored eyes and blond hair (surprise) that later curled up so tight and thick.  He immediately stopped people in their tracks because his face lit up the room.  He earned the nickname “Handsome” and would respond to it. His smile beamed and made others smile.  He made me forget all my troubles when he smiled.  He snuggled so sweetly.  Now at almost four he uses that smile when he is running away from me or keeping a minimum of 20ft distance so I can’t catch up with him. 

Yesterday, I dropped the three oldest kids off on the last day of their Vacation Bible School(VBS) summer camp.  The littlest danced and sang with the group, but my curly headed, sweetie just kept his distance and watched.  Sometimes I don’t understand him because his actions don’t match his big personality. I wanted to leave and get a coffee before I would have to be back for the special VBS Mass, but the little dancing queen could not be dragged away from the dancing and singing.  I looked over at my little guy and he was lying down on a Batman cape and driving his Batman car along with the yellow and black iconic symbol.  One last attempt to harness the littlest from her fun was quickly abated with a harsh scream from her…she’s two…I’ll let that go for another minute. I thought the almost four-year-old will work with me…he ignored me.  Eventually, the songs were winding up so the littlest one’s dance-off was coming to end.  It was really time to go, so I bent down and started picking up the Batman cape, with the “We have to go” firmly stated but this action became a tug-of-war and I got smacked with the Batman car.  Then he ran away.

I know I looked foolish trying to chase a child that is clearly faster and wittier than he used to be and every time I think I’m going to trick him to run around the table towards me he changes gears and laughs.  He cracks that beautiful beaming smile, but I have to keep my “mom is mad” face on.  I did get a hold of him, took the Batman car as punishment and dragged Miss Dancey Pants and him back to the car.  A lesson in behavior ensues with my decision of bribing him to behave at the Mass and get his car back.

I thought full bellies at Mass are always better because they behave better.  So I made sure I got them something when I bought my coffee. What was I thinking?  Not only did more food get requested which I was ready for, but several handfuls of Goldfish crackers and Cheerios ended up on the floor, a tug-of-war with the one juice cup and in the silent part of the Church Mass, a certain almost-four-year-old blurts out that he has to go to the bathroom.  I whispered, “You just went, and you are going to have to wait.”  He retorted loudly, “I have to go poopy.” 

Poopy Happens…so we took care of that and after chasing the littles down the aisle for the third time I asked myself why did I do this?…and why did I continue the rest of the day.  Am I a glutton for punishment?  There was an hour to kill after Mass before VBS pickup so we drove over to the Home Depot.  I had to withhold the Batman car for an extended period because Mass didn’t turn out good, but I had confidence in this store trip.  He was really good and I bought this thirsty boy lemonade, and on our trip back to the car I praised his good behavior. 

I said, “You were a really good boy in the store.”

“Yeah,” he said agreeable and holding his big bottle of lemonade. 

“…and what do you get if you are a good boy?” [Batman Car]

“A drink!”

“Well, yes,” as I made my way around the other side of the van to strap the little one in, “but what else do you get if you are a good boy?” [Batman Car]

“…Five dollars?” he said and then he smiled so sweetly at me from across the van.

[Touché young sir]  “No, I said if you were a good boy you could have your Batman Car”

“Oh, yeah.”

I wish I could say we both learned our lessons right then and there, but…nope.  I continued to go on more errands with the kids in a non-air conditioned van on a sweaty, humid day. Pickup from VBS minus the oldest who stayed for a pizza party…that went well. Happy Meals for the other kids and eating in McDonald’s….that went well.  The second pickup of the oldest…went on without a hitch.  Visiting my Grandfather at the rehabilitation nursing home…by then good behavior was waning from my almost four year old.  He had picked apart a wad of blue Playdoh all over the floor and was trying to stick it to the walls and into the outlets, my mom[who works there] was coming off her shift and reminded me of all of the germs that would be squished in the Playdoh…ewww.  I had to think of a time to steal it away.  It was time to go but when he saw my brother [who works there] do a balloon activity with the elderly residents.  My little guy jumped right in and bounced the balloon back to them.  That smile beamed and all the residents beamed.  We finished our rounds with a visit to Nonna’s work close by and besides a hitting and kicking fight between the almost-four-year-old and my middle girl it was okay.  I even got to secretly throw away the gross Playdoh.

We got rained on, I got screamed at on the way home because of the Playdoh, the car was wicked hot because the rain made me close my windows…which without air-conditioning makes foggy windows.  Of course, the rain decided to come down harder as I was emptying everyone out of the car, even sleeping almost-four-year-old who is a great one to transfer…unless the rain is coming down so hard you’re soaked on your way to the house.   

He sat in the front hall crying from his wet clothes.  And I thought, Maybe I should have done the day differently. But you know what? I don’t think it matters sometimes when you’re parenting.  Sometimes you have busy days and lessons are being thrown out and opportunities come and go. Sometimes you lose your patience, and sometimes you are a saint.  Sometimes you have moments that your kids teach you and sometimes you’re teaching others by your actions.   I set an example for my kids when we got to church whether they have a good hour or a bad hour.  We visited a relative who needs to see people while he recovers.  We made elderly residents smile, we made my mom smile and my brother.  Nonna’s work day was broken up.  All the visits were surprises and so were the behaviors.  We all are learning parents and children…and it is worth it…after that long day, we changed our clothes and sat on the couch.  He said, “Can I sit with you,” he climbed on top of me, snuggled under a blanket and said… “Mommy, I wuv you.” …I love you too, bud.