UMBRELLA KINDNESS

Today, I saw an act of kindness.  Today was a hard day to wake up.  It was grey, cloudy and then rainy.  I have the nagging cough that won’t go away, the kids are rotating another Cold through the house and the pre-schooler is still not dressed as everyone is leaving late for school.  We pulled up to school and the kids that were healthy headed off to the door.  I watch as my daughter cuts across the muddy lawn to beat the pre-schooler to the door, he looked like he was going to cry…I will discuss that later with her.  As I pulled away, I noticed some moms talking on the corner to our elderly, crossing guard who we affectionately call Papa Joe.  Papa Joe is a retired Police Officer and he adorns the Police uniform for this important safety job.  He also has an awesome bright yellow raincoat, but the rain didn’t start right away this morning.  Papa Joe was in his regular uniform.  As I drove around the corner I saw that a Mom was holding an umbrella directly over him, shielding him.  And I thought…that’s nice that she’s doing that, she looks like she’s sticking around until he’s done with his morning duty.  This act of kindness was noticeable in a good way.  For some reason, I think we have become a society where these kind acts stick out like a movie trailer of an upcoming blockbuster.  We watch so intently and say, that was nice and think of how we can be that nice.

And I’ve been there.  I’ve been under that umbrella of kindness.  When you are holding two sleeping young children in your arms waiting to hear your back crack from the dead weight, and some glowing, angel of a mom comes over and offers to hold one of your sleeping children. I have asked myself, “Can I carry all of the groceries and a baby in an infant carrier in one trip?” and then your neighbor sees you and offers to bring your groceries to the porch.   I have literally dragged defiant noodle children out of the middle of dangerous roads for their own safety, and another kid’s grandmother helps get my children across the street.  I have had the embarrassment of not being able to catch my child when they run away…My legs are longer than yours, how is this possible…some kind soul gently stops my child for a brief moment so I can catch up.  And I have experienced all these things alone without help because that is motherhood…sometimes.  But sometimes, sometimes someone, someone kind, notices and you get the umbrella of kindness. 

Once, I had a rare occasion of picking up my kids without little ones in tow.  I was alone, independently alone, it was heaven… but, I digress, it was an unpredictable weather day in October.  It looked like rain, but it was so cold that it started to sleet.  My trusty and grand, umbrella was with me and I knew I had enough room underneath for all of my ducklings when they exited the school.  I was so confident standing there, on time, early even and prepared, all rare occasions, and not distracted by my usual “littles”. Then, I noticed a mom with a sleeping child on her shoulder and the sleet was sticking to his cheeks.  I thought I have the umbrella, I have the capacity today because I can, I’ll cover them the best I can.  So I did.  I didn’t ask, I just did, so I held out a big portion of my umbrella to keep him dry even allowing my shoulder and arm to be exposed to the elements.  I wasn’t too close, but you can’t have too much distance with an umbrella, however, I could feel that she was uncomfortable with this gesture.  I wondered if it was just too close, but I feel like she was just uncomfortable with my kindness.  She would have rather had her son, get wet and cold then to take refuge under my umbrella.  I could feel her trying to slide away and getting antsy that her daughter had not emerged from the school.  Sometimes I wonder if our own independence is a hindrance to the kindness that can be spread, with a small word, or act. 

Most assuredly I go days without one act of kindness, but I don’t want to get out of practice because although independence is what we strive for in ourselves and in our children, we can’t be solely independent.  We are in this together all of us, our children and households, our communities and broader,  we’re all affected by each other each and every day all around the world.  The distance doesn’t matter it all comes under this same earthly Umbrella that we live in.  My mother told me a story once that when Mt. St. Helens suddenly erupted on May 18, 1980, in Washington it disrupted the weather here in NY for a while and the ash distributed all the way to Oklahoma nearly 2000 miles away from Washington.  I’d like to think we affect each other in those ways both good and bad but think for a minute how disruptive our kindness could be; think of that Mom that held that umbrella of kindness for Papa Joe.  She could’ve kept walking with her umbrella, I’m sure she had a job to get to; her kindness was disruptive…to herself.  Jobs can wait, kindness matters even when we have places to go and you are bombarded by responsibility.  Kiss your kids, smile at a stranger, hold the door, help your neighbor, and to all of the umbrella holders out there, thank you.