They Need Their Dad.

I could get on my rant wagon and start listing all of the ways that my husband annoys me each day.  When he hogs the remote or when he quietly slips away upstairs from the chaos of our loud house to have some alone time...Alone time? what is that?...no seriously have I been alone in almost 10 years?  I could go on and on about all of his shortcomings, but then I would be doing no justice to the awesome dad and husband that he is.  I would be focusing on the menial, mundane and the negative. And I'll admit it, I'm not perfect either so how can I be so petty.  


As a stay at home mom, I get frustrated easily by messes because there is always a mess.  I lecture with no pause because I want to be obeyed an have rules followed.  I get overwhelmed when five children come at me at once all wanting attention when all I've been doing all day is paying attention to children.  Some days I want to scream because I want the whole world to hear how difficult it is to be a mother, to have five children, to do this job with essentially no pay and thanks...and then my husband walks in the door from work and wants to be noticed.  All the moms out there are probably already giving him a dirty look for me, but I get it.  He also works a thankless job.  He goes to a job he doesn't like and works for pay that provides us with all the things we have, food, shelter, toys and tech, cars and repairs and tuition.  Those five children that really don't care where money comes from because they never see it anyways ignore the man in the doorway and all dad wants is a "hello" or a hug.  Even when I'm tucked away in the kitchen making dinner he puts the extra effort in to find me and greet me...I have to admit my heart flutters a bit each time.  

So that was the past because a few years ago, I understood his angst over being forgotten because I feel forgotten sometimes and I started to interrupt the kids and have them show some appreciation for their ignored dad.  It's a small thing, but I know it's important.  He gets shown some love well deserved love...because although I know I could handle a life without him, I don't want that harder life.  I like my life. My loud life.  The life of constant lessons and the husband who sometimes gets alone time.  

This same husband is a key part to the puzzle.  He's a neat nick and has helped me show the children how to do chores.  Larger families need the extra hands on deck for the extra messes.  He's shown our older boys how to take out the trash and recycling.  He supports the cleanup after dinner and gets everyone involved with a task.  My husband will cycle through the laundry like a trooper and empty and reload the dishwasher.  But more than being a task master, he is so much more patient than I.  When it comes to difficult homework he has a way of working with the kids that doesn't frustrate them more.  My husband shows the kids research on the internet and he instructs them on morals and faith.  When my husband hears injustice in the house he wants to nip it in the bud immediately.  I see my kids will go to their dad for advice when they won't come to me and I love it because I know that they are talking to one of us.  He takes the kids out of the house for quality time one-on-one.  I've overheard him reading Barbie books to our daughter and listening to our children's terrible jokes and laughing.  He pretends to see dragons and monsters with our three year old and save the damsel with him.  He hugs and kisses our kids and tells them he loves them daily.  He has the time that I sometimes don't to be there for them and I am so glad that they have that in their lives.  We both play our important parts and I wouldn't have it any other way.

So a few years ago when all my husband wanted was to be acknowledged at the door by his children I thought back to the Good Housekeeping Guide from 1955.  Steps 7 and 8 were what I thought he wanted:

"7.) Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children’s hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes.

8.) Children are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet."

He quickly corrected me.  We all want perfection sometimes, but that's not want he wanted.  He just want's to be acknowledged...because home is where he'd rather be, because home is us.